Explore Thailand: Thailand Do's & Don’ts

First of all, nothing can prepare you for Thailand.

What to pack:

Travel light! Wearing footwear such as sandals will negate the need to carry socks. In fact, you could easily arrive with just the clothes you are wearing, plus a few essentials. If you are of average build the sweat shops of Asia provide bargain clothing that can be bought & discarded for cheaper than the cost of a load of laundry. It is impossible to dress even semi formally due to the unbearable heat, so there is no need whatsoever to bring anything larger than a carry on sized shoulder bag. As long as you shower twice a day, a couple of t-shirts and a comfy pair of board-shorts, worn commando style, will be perfectly fine for many days.

Travelling in Thailand, you will find yourself in many situations when carrying little luggage is beneficial. You won’t require the services of porters or need to use bus/train luggage stows. You won’t have to wait at the carousels at the airport & you can skip the bag drop queues, by checking in online. You will laugh when you see tourists trying to roll massive suitcases along narrow uneven sidewalks that often double as scooter parking lots.

Next time we visit, we will only bring:

The clothes on our back
A net-book computer & travel adapter
A couple of pairs of underwear (optional)
Reservation numbers & travel documents
Camera & charger
Sunglasses
Nail clippers
Tweezers

Any liquids or repellents you may need can be purchased cheaply at the 7/11.

Eating in Thailand:

By learning to love traditional spicy Thai meals, you will save a lot of money on food. Start off vegetarian only, to allow your stomach to become conditioned to the fatty sauces & heavily seasoned dishes, (unless you are lucky like Bec & have a cast iron stomach).
Good clean vegetarian food can be difficult to find in Bangkok, but easily found everywhere else in Thailand. Remember the phrase for no meat “Mai ow (Kha/Khap)”. The best restaurants are not flashy at all, but will be on the side of the road open air styles with plastic tables and chairs. You can bet your money that a beautiful looking restaurant with wooden tables and chairs surrounded in lush green gardens with ambient lighting will provide the Farang with tasteless western Thai food. Avoid them at all costs! The restaurants you will want to visit are the opposite of what we have described. These restaurants will be filled with local customers, condiments at each table, well worn menus written in Thai & English, & friendly staff. Try different items, & find out what suits you. Use the condiments to bring your meal to life, sugar & soy sauce will help to tone down a dish that is too spicy. Embrace the spicy flavor & you will be rewarded with a cooling sweat afterwards. Beer never tasted so good. If you can’t find suitable food, an instant noodle cup available at the 7/11 (hot water included) is a trusted last resort.

Accommodation:

Especially in Thailand, quality has its price, & a few extra baht goes a long way in terms of comfort & luxury. Consider four stars to be the minimum if you wish to enjoy: an in room safe, clean fresh towels, air con, a fridge, DVD player & internet access. After checking in, always read the hotel directory.
Four star hotels are well staffed, secured & patrolled. Check out hotels on tripadvisor.com for true reviews & take advantage of low rates by booking through the internet. Requesting a room on a high floor ensures that you will receive privacy from other guests including mosquitoes. At dawn & dusk, insects can be an issue but are otherwise no big deal.
Many five star hotels provide free extras besides unrivaled luxury, such as daily fruit, biscuits and treats, free transfers & shuttles to your next destination. Breakfast standards are very high throughout Thailand; there is something for everyone, herbivores and carnivores alike. Don’t expect miracles from a four star hotel, if you can afford to stay in a five star hotel you will not be disappointed. Keep your room tidy, always lock your bags & leave a few coins for the maid when you are checking out. This will give you the strength required to ignore the exploited child beggars, landmine victims & sadly, blind busking singers.

Culture shock:

Prepare to be surprised by the unexpected. Do not visit Thailand with pre-conceived expectations; keep an open mind & most importantly, a cool heart. Thais are a deferential & submissive people. This can result in unexpected situations such as people ignoring queues & cutting in front of you at the supermarket. Do not expect the cashier to cause a scene & ‘lose face’. If the rude bully is only buying cigarettes is it really that big a deal? In all situations a smile will help resolve issues faster than losing your temper. From bartering to dining, maintain a relaxed attitude & have fun or Sanook. Do not act like the old man we saw telling a taxi tout to ‘fuck off’. People have to buy rice somehow, after all. Yes it can be infuriating to be asked if you want to buy a suit, massage or Tuk-tuk a thousand times, however a polite smile & ‘Kha’ (female) or ‘Khap’ (Male) is enough to let them know you are not interested. Think about it, all of the touts are there because of tourism. You can’t blame them for trying & it beats dealing with the gypsy beggars of Europe any day.
Losing face is to be avoided at all costs, as is shouting, pointing the sole of your foot, touching some-ones head, public displays of affection or immodesty & bumping into people.
Don’t be greedy. As a wealthy visitor, it is your place in Thai culture to not grab every last baht from the change tray when eating out or catching a cab.

Safety & travel:

Thailand is generally a very safe place, but as with all countries, crime & danger exists. Be wary of well spoken Thais who strike up conversation. Do not consider this a chance to mix with the real people. Thais are a shy race & will not approach strangers. Deception is common & you must take extreme care when making transactions. Carry the minimum cash possible & leave the thousand baht notes in your hotel room safe along with your credit cards & passport (a photocopy of your passport should be carried at all times). Only chain stores such as 7-11 & McDonalds can be expected to give correct change from a five hundred baht note or higher.
Don’t be a victim. Watch out for the strong beer which, combined with heatstroke may affect your judgment. Remember that nothing is ‘free’.
Beware of hidden tax charges in bars & restaurants.
Stick to well lit main roads & watch out for maniac drivers. One way street signs & red traffic lights have absolutely no meaning. Try to cross busy roads with other people. It may be easier to catch a minivan or taxi despite the extra cost, if you are carrying your belongings to another hotel, rather than waiting for a cheaper songtwo. A Songtwo driver is unlikely to speak English well, or know your hotel location. Open air buses & taxis are also targets for motorcycle thieves. Bag snatching does occur so wear your bag over your shoulder & keep your wits about you.
Travel throughout Thailand is a highly organised business, but we would stick to flying for longer distances. Taxi’s are generally ok but it may take a few goes to find one who will use the meter. “Meetoe OK, Khap?”. The meter is ridiculously cheap. Genuine Taxi cars are not more than five years old. Carry maps to your hotel, written in Thai.
Tour operators are a dime a dozen throughout Thailand. Check between three or so different outlets to compare rates for the same tour if you are considering snorkeling, for example. Prices vary & so does the service. Some tours are rubbish so check it out online first. "Village of the long necks? or how about an Elephant circus show?"
Plenty of people hire scooters & use Tuk-tuks, but we would not. Except in Phuket, where the Tuk-tuk mafia have a stranglehold on transport.
The Bangkok Sky-Train is excellent, safe, clean, fast & cheap. In all cases it pays to speak a little Thai & hope that you don’t appear to be ‘fresh off the boat’, as they say.

Hygiene:

Shower & bathe often. Drink the complimentary bottled water. Don’t wear perfume – it attracts insects. Repellent is useful for the legs & arms. Groom yourself & maintain a tidy appearance – face is everything. If in doubt, pump the brake – particularly with regards to food & drink.
Use the Bidet hose. Flush the loo before you use the Bidet hose. Look-out for the nearest rest-room. Keep change handy for the rest-room and carry toilet paper or tissues. Shopping malls have excellent food courts, facilities, & air conditioning. Use the provided waste paper bin for toilet paper & avoid an embarrassing charge-able blockage.

General advice:

Drink lots of fluids including alcohol. Read the English newspapers. Investigate websites such as Wikitravel & Bangkokscams.com . Research everything & save websites for future reference. Avoid solicitors & touts. Show respect for the king & his currency, to step on a coin would be akin to stepping on his face. Rely on your gut instinct, physical & psychological. Talk to other tourists.
Don't bother going to Khao San Road in Bangkok.
Do not travel alone, or you will be harassed non-stop. Make reservations. Don’t buy DVD’s of new movies; slightly older movies represent excellent quality & value. Check that genuine replica t-shirt for spelling mistakes. Bartering is a science, whisper cheeky offers if other buyers are within earshot.
Finally, Thailand is not for those with a weak stomach. Offensive odors seep into your airways & linger on the tongue.

Price list: 1 NZD = 23 BHT

T-shirt / Singlet: 150 BHT
Thai meal: 25 – 60 BHT
Board shorts: 200 BHT
4 – 5 star Hotel room includes breakfast: 1500 – 2500 BHT
Cornetto: 20 BHT
Can of beer: 25 BHT
Bottled water: 7 BHT
DVD movie: 50-80 BHT
Pashmina: 100 - 150 BHT
Ear-rings: 25 – 50 BHT
Marlboros: 78 BHT
5 minute taxi fare: 40 - 60 BHT (40 BHT flag-fall)
30 minute Pedicure/massage: 150 - 200 BHT
Minivan airport transfer to hotel: 150 BHT pp

Geoff & Rebecca would like to thank:

Our hosts, the people of Thailand, for their unfailing kindness, helpfulness, understanding, patience & hospitality.

Our parents & families for their constant contact, support, love & goodwill.

Geoff's brother John for giving us worthy cultural advice & invaluable Thai language books & CD's.

All of our friends who extended warm wishes via Facebook & email.

Jamie from Flight Centre Westfield who patiently helped us arrange our holiday airfares.

Thai Air, Qantas & Bangkok Airways.

All of our magnificent hotels, especially: The Glow Trinity Bangkok, The Sunset Beach Resort Patong, The Sugar Palm Grand Phuket, Kirikayan Luxury Resorts Phuket, The Dusit D2 Chiang Mai, De Naga Chiang Mai, The Amari Orchid Pattaya & The Grand FourWings Convention Hotel.